I have been known to be fascinated by martial arts. As a matter of fact, I have taken some classes in the past and considering now resuming the praactice – if only for the few months I am here in LA before I travel and tour. The message below is copied from an email I received tonight – one of the dojos I had attended and signed up on the list for. This weekend it is a full moon, too. Tonight it is huge and beautiful in the sky, and is casting shadows all over the place. I went for a long hike today in the hills.

Year of the Tiger – Grandmaster Taejoon Lee’s New Year’s Message

Hope everyone had a nice holiday break, rekindling familial bonds and sharing the joys of love and friendship.

For those of you who followed my 2009, Year of the Ox, New Year’s Message of hard work indicative of the ox, you should now be in good shape to spring into action.  Just working hard at planning and developing does not guarantee success; you must set it in motion, put into action!

2010 is the Year of the Tiger.  It’s the year of being courageous, bold, and taking initiative.  It’s all about implementation and taking risks.  If you have done the right work in the year of the OX, then your risk will be far less.  Nevertheless, there’s always risk and one should not fear it.

It is this that I would like to address, the fear of taking risks.  This is what dictionary.com says about “risk”.

risk – noun
1.    exposure to the chance of injury or loss; a hazard or dangerous chance: It’s not worth the risk.

So the fear of taking risk is then the fear of injury or loss.  Life is about decisions and most of our decisions are based on assessing the risk.  This is where as a martial artist or better yet; as a modern warrior we have the advantage or at least we should.  Essentially in our training we address these two most fundamental fears, the fear of injury and the fear of loss.

In sparring or fighting – you cannot expect to strike without being struck, inflict pain without receiving pain, and win without losing.  And even more so for us Hwarangdoists, before a student can apply joint-manipulation techniques on a person, the instructor first applies the techniques on him/her so that they can feel the pain first before they can perform the techniques on anyone else.

As I have said many times before, it’s the imagination that fuels the fear.  So the greater your imagination, the more fantastic your fears become.  The foot soldiers on the frontlines do not need to think as much as take action; too much thinking delays action and intensifies the fears.  The generals/commanders require less physical action, but more strategic planning.  The goal for Hwarangdoists is to always strive for balance and this also applies here.

We must be both educated intellectuals as well as possess heightened physical attributes in all areas.  Thought without action is worthless and action without thought is perilous.

We perform magic or miracles daily.  We create a conception in our minds from nothingness, the invisible and then through our actions we materialize our thoughts into tangible/physical reality.  Of course this does not happen at the waive of a wizard’s magic wand, but in essence that’s what we are doing, creating something from nothing, from thought to reality.  And, action is the bridge from the immaterial to the material.

Hence, whatever we can create in our minds, then we should be able to create in reality.  So, all we have to do is to choose and then commit to the action until it comes to fruition.  All great things in the world came from one person’s mind, who put the thought out into the universe and sparked the imagination of the collective humankind.

So, then why are so many people lost and unhappy?

For me the answer is simple: we are enslaved by our fears, which forces us to focus on the risk rather than the reward.  And, with the added element of “human inertia” which makes us seek for complacency and apathy disguised as comfort, we dwell in thought and become idle in action.  And to make things worse, we are constantly bombarded with distractions by the media & technology, taking away the time for introspection and enhancing the illusion of happiness.

Therefore, the first thing is to take the time to know ‘thyself’:  Who am I?  What do I want and just as important what do I don’t want?  What do I need?  What do I want to do with my life?  Then, the second thing one must do, which for most people is the hardest thing and the reason for abandoning their quest for what they want – taking action!

After investing much time into discovering the ‘self’, now one must put it into action.  Although, it’s clear in our minds, the work, the struggle, and the hardships, which one must endure in order to make something a reality overwhelms and deters any normal persons’ decision to stay committed to their quest.  Therefore, the next vital component is to cultivate courage, the hardest to procure.

Any person can be courageous, but in order to cultivate it, one must fertilize it with strength.  This strength is not of the body or the mind alone, but it must be of mind, body, heart, and spirit.

Strength is not only about what more one has – more muscle, more money, more knowledge; it’s also about tolerance, endurance, patience, compassion, and wisdom.  And all these attributes are gained empirically, so it can be taught and more importantly self-taught.  They are learned by challenging oneself to accomplish difficult tasks: whether it be attending the strictest of schools, doing something no one or only a few have ever done, daring to go places where no one has been, striving for perfection.  And through their struggles, their pains, their sufferings, they emerge stronger and more courageous.  As I always say to my students, “One cannot build a fortress out of marshmallows,” then you cannot build a stronger you without hardship.

Then, as warriors we should not be afraid of the pain, the hardship as we face these in every training session, every class, daily.  We know that the fear imagined is far worse then what is real.  We were all afraid the first time we engaged in sparring, but after we have done it, we scoff at it like it was nothing.  It’s the worrying that kills, not the problem.

We also know that you cannot inflict pain without knowing pain yourself.  Then, we should not be afraid as we also realize that we can be much more tolerant to pain once imagination is out of the equation.

Furthermore, we also know that although we may lose today, that with practice that we can win tomorrow.  We know of personal sacrifice and that you cannot gain if do not give up and that the only true loss or failure is in quitting.

We do not live life to die; we do not engage in competition to lose; we do not fight to get beat up: so, why should one be afraid to choose one’s life path and to live the way one wants.  Don’t fixate on the bills, go out and make more money.  Don’t worry about losing your mate, get up and stay in shape and invest in your betterment.  Don’t be afraid to start your business venture, go out and learn more and educate yourself.  Don’t ask if something is easy to do, get stronger and better at it.  Don’t ask if you can, ask what you’re willing to give up.

In the end we will lose everything anyway!

Let us roar like a Tiger in 2010!

Hwarang Forever with Strength, Honor, & Courage!

Grandmaster Taejoon Lee

The other night I went to a special event held by Converse and Paper Magazine. It was in a lovely old theater and I fell in love with that building. I want to do a show there! It is called The Montalban Theater and it's in the heart of Hollywood.

I was privileged to do some work with Converse last summer on a music video of theirs – to do with prom:-) – and it's still on YouTube, if you want to see it :

Now, this is really not my song 100%.. I co-wrote it with Anomaly, the ad agency that does all the work for Converse. But it was a fun project and an opportunity to do something different. And I love the people at Converse: especially Geoff Cottrill, who introduced me to the crew..

The event the other night featured some bands, and also art, but also a number of amazing videos of a few young artists of various kinds from around the world. This idea of a corporate entity fostering creativity is genius. Converse rules! (of course I also have something like 10 pairs of Converse shoes). I really look forward to doing more with them..

It was inspiring to watch those videos and observe how young people from all around the world share (besides the shoes) this ability to channel art..think different and create from their imagination. Our world needs more artists, poets, thinkers unbound by convention and commerce. It made me want to write even better music and work harder at my craft.

Recently, I feel the time going by so fast. Perhaps it is also because there is so much going on in my life right now. I am feeling the transformation taking place inside and out.

I am brilliantly, scintillatingly happy this morning. Part of it, I am sure, is that the sun is out and there is nothing more beautiful right now probably in the entire world than the freshly and thoroughly washed Venice, CA. We don't really get the occasion to observe and celebrate this whole seasonal cyclical thing here much.. and so today is a special occasion of sorts.

I am ready to go on a hike and it's a perfect way to kick off my newly found fitness resolution. Next few days are full of things to look forward to. There is really very little I love more in life – well, except for perfect flan, perhaps – than having things to look forward to.

Today is a day of vocal rest. I sang so much in the past week, that my voice needs a break from all the operatic and non-operatic stuff.

Today is also a day of art. It's Art show in LA, which lasts for three days or so and is full of small and big shows. So I am planning on checking out a few things and enjoying the cultural part of LA today to the full…

Life is beautiful.

of course there could always be more coffee…

Speaking of rain and coffee: or just rain, really. The other day I came up with a little poem and I'd like to finish it:

these water-words are made of rain;

elsewhere, of snow and ice your scent.

Our hurt is real but never meant

within confines of love's domain

Of course I may have to wait until there is more rain to do that, since it is mostly a rain poem. I have been falling in love with language recently all over again: English, but also Italian and French. And the time to newly fall in love with Russian will come again soon – for that I'll have to go back to Russia and spend some time there.. writing, speaking and experiencing reality. Oh, that time will come.

Recently, also I have been inventing words. "Heartscars". "Water-words". Water words are not mine, alas, they are from a book Europa by Tim Parks. I am a words thief. One of the reasons why I have boxes of books is because prose and literature provide such a wealth of material for me to songcraft from. See, another one: songcraft. 

I also know beyond any doubt now, after the last month of writing this and that in my new blog that soon I will write more. I want to write stories. I want to write because I have come to believe that it is stories that have power to change people and make the world go 'round. It is also why today I realize that I regret throwing out a zillion photos recently. I understand my motivation – my self's desire for a fresh start, an annihilation of the old so the new can come in. And yet, the writer in me regrets the loss because it is those stories that can fuel the creative life. Nevermind, though. They are gone, now. But I have two boxes of journals and diaries, songs and sketches.

And I do have photographic memory. I only forget what I wish to forget.

I am falling asleep and listening to Neil Gaiman's reading of 'The Graveyard Book'. He is brilliant. How can I ever find me a boyfriend considering I develop crushes on writers and sometimes fictional characters? Ok, this sounds like I have never had a boyfriend, and I have. But, I am a romantic at heart. It may be a Russian thing. Love, The One and all that jazz.

An embarassing but entertaining fact: at some point last year after re-reading something by N. Gaiman, I emailed him and asked him out to dinner. Uh, that was before I realized he and the amazing Amanda Palmer were an item. I hope he thought it was a fan sort of thing – which it was, I suppose. Crazy fans. I am sure he gets a lot of that. Ha ha. Anyway, one of these days I will get myself a life and maybe even fall in love again – and if whoever he turns out to be also can tweet me 'goodnight, my dear' in French, has a Brit accent and can make me laugh, perhaps I shall marry him.

I spent five hours today, singing and such. I am on a roll. But tomorrow is the start of a fitness routine: I am going to get myself back into shape, ninja assassin-style.

Tonight the air was crisp and stars bright, as if newly washed and shined, like precious crystal. I think I wrote something to that effect on my FB and got a comment from someone : 'but it's not the stars, it's the smog gone etc'. Come on, people. It's called metaphore.

These days I sit down at the piano or read a book and get caught by a line, word, phrase, chord or note.. my sensitivity has been increasing. The world is full of possibilities. Sometimes I feel as if the veil is being lifted just a bit and I can see past it, if for a minute. There can be a whole poem in a word. And a song born of a chord. Neil Gaiman seems to be one of those people who see the details and commonplace objects – and the possibilities, stories and shadow-selves alongside them. I hope I am moving into such a state of mind, because it is a blissful place to be..

Life is a fascinating thing. It takes you in a direction you never expected and at first you find yourself wringing your hands, saying: 'oh but I wanted to….'

Then, much later on you find out that it worked out for the better anyway, and you feel slightly ashamed at all the fuss you kicked up at the time and unnecessary drama and stress you created for yourself.

OK, the above scenario is me. I do this all the time. I set out in a direction, map out the whole thing in my head and then if and when I am diverted, I become distraught. I fight the change tooth and nail. Then, I give in and become depressed (for just a moment, mind you). Then, a week later I realize it was for the better. But then I do it all over again.

Can this cat be taught new tricks? I surely hope so.

Anyhow, it is raining in L.A. and I feel like maybe – just maybe – I should build myself an ark. At the rate we are going, Southern California is turning into Ireland. But I don't see any point in being upset or worried about it. It is what it is. Of course I do not live in a house on a bottom of a hill.. if I did perhaps my magnanimous attitude would be much less so.. well laissez-faire. But what do you do? It's weather! It does what it wants. Actually, I am enjoying it. It feels like the old year is being washed away. The new is coming, but there has to be a big clean first, don't you think?

I am going to be playing a few dates at the new and reborn Lilith Fair this summer!

http://www.lilithfair.com/artists

Last night I did a very random thing and played at a small gathering at a really amazing loft downtown LA. I did not know any of those people, per se. Now I do. God bless the Internet and the way it brings amazing people, friendships and connections to me even when I am holed up alone at home. As a nice side benefit, I found a location – in that same building – for one of my upcoming music videos. Hooray!

Another thought: as long as I make the effort and 'show up', the Universe always provides. It is the showing up bit that is key.