Posted May 5, 2010 at 7:53 am

hello new life

I am moving today. And I am absolutely, totally happy. There is still a bit of a resonance in me from the show last Wednesday, which was, quite simply, the best I had done to date. And then there are all the things I have to look forward to.. It is such a beautiful day today, as well. I am about to do some more cleaning and a few more bits and pieces, and then relax with some new and old friends. I am absolutely, totally grateful for my life and everything in it.

And, of course, if you are reading this – it certainly includes you, as well:)

Posted May 4, 2010 at 3:14 am

Physical pleasure is a sensual experience no different from pure seeing or the pure sensation with which a fine fruit fills the tongue; it is a great unending experience, which is given us, a knowing of the world, the fullness and the glory of all knowing. And not our acceptance of it is bad; the bad thing is that most people misuse and squander this experience and apply it as a stimulant at the tired spots of their lives and as distraction instead of a rallying toward exalted moments. (Rilke)

Posted May 2, 2010 at 2:34 am

let it rain

Tonight it is raining hard outside. I love rain and all the little noises it brings besides the steady 'thrum' on the surfaces.

I can't believe it has been ten months since my last trip to London, either. A lot has happened in these ten months, mind you. A lot is happening now and is about to happen.

I am weighing a few choices right now and standing at a crossroads. I can feel it and it is unsettling, to say the least. It has to do with pretty much everything in my life, including music and my living situation.

What is that dividing line between fear and exhilaration? Both are fueled by adrenaline, are they not?

I read something the other day about fear. It had to do with doing a meditation/visualisation dealing with your fear. The idea was that you do not fight it or deny it: you acknowledge it. And then you thank it for working so hard to protect you.

It reminded me of a scene in a movie where two men are in the midst of a boxing match and one opponent kisses the other. Which, of course, leaves the kissee completely flabbergasted and open to a knockout punch.

Looking back over the past ten months and reading some of my journal entries, I also know now that sometimes an outcome I wanted most at one time or other was not the right one for me at all. And I knew it in retrospect, looking back. Thank you, indeed, for unanswered prayers. But in the moment, it is so hard to know..

One thing I do know now, though: I will grow older, but I will do my best not to grow bitter, cynical or fearful. That is my choice. I wish to make a positive impact upon this world, I wish to gain complete mastery over my art – music – but underlying it all, there is that choice. To see beauty in this world, hope, joy, humour, meaning and divinity.

Oh, I am not speaking of religion. Although, I am not an atheist, either. Not at all. I am, if anything, a worshipper of Mystery.

'Love is what makes music', said Mozart.

I think it is time for me to kiss the fear on the lips, slip into the opening and run wildly, laughing, headlong into love of life, risk and instability.

"Look, poet, love is never what we think it will be. Love is like a boy trying to rescue a drowned girl from the sea and falling in himself'. (Keith Miller)

Posted May 1, 2010 at 5:22 am

Rockwood, March 2010

Sorry for the interminable, humongous delay. (Is this how you spell humongous? Hmm..)

These are a few photos from my March show at Rockwood in NYC. I have been trying to upload a couple of videos, too, but alas, the computer and internet gods are on strike today. Coming shortly..