Posted March 15, 2011 at 10:02 am
good morning.
I woke up and saw the news over the weekend. And it just keeps getting worse. Earlier in the week I found out that my mom, back in Moscow, had a heart complication and is now in the hospital, undergoing some tests.
And here I am, today, working on some songs, as the record is nearing completion. I will be flying to Moscow soon, right after the mastering day. But I can't shut out reality. And so I sat this morning, and looked at some beautiful Japanese art books, and cried.
In the big picture, what I am doing, my record, my music: do they even matter?
But yes. I think it is on a day like today that I turn to one of my most favorite teachers: Joseph Campbell:
- We're in a freefall into future. We don't know where we're going. Things are changing so fast, and always when you're going through a long tunnel, anxiety comes along. And all you have to do to transform your hell into a paradise is to turn your fall into a voluntary act. It's a very interesting shift of perspective and that's all it is… joyful participation in the sorrows and everything changes.
(Sukhavati)
It's a wonderful, wonderful opera, except that it hurts.
So I will drink some coffee, donate some money to Red Cross and their Japan effort, meditate and go on. It is a beautiful day outside – the flowers need watering and the songs want finishing, I can hear them.
And if you are reading this – I am so very proud of the music I have prepared for you. And I love you very much.