Posted October 30, 2011 at 6:13 am

rain and sense of accomplishment

I really, really enjoyed myself last night. This morning I am having a cup of coffee, it is raining outside and I am reading the emails, tweets and such that came pouring in. Come noon, I am off to the studio to do the first of last two days in the studio with Greg Wells, who was very sick with stomach flu yesterday, but apparently after following my insistent advice on a special oregano oil remedy he is back on his feet.

What is really funny is that my secret identity as a healer/herbalist is floating around Twitterverse now, thanks to #greg_wells and his mention of my 'oregano pills'…

We have so many amazing photos from last night. Seth and Sara were lovely and gracious. Also, there is nothing, in my opinion, like standing in the wings, backstage, watching/listening a real orchestra do its magic live.

I felt like last night was a good step in the right direction. I was a little afraid that after these past months in the studio, focusing on the new versions of the songs, I was badly out of shape.

And there is certainly a world of work to do, starting now. But I felt comfortable last night, and there were some very special moments during the set. And I was so happy… And now, it's time to start putting together the show that is meant to be: the show that is not just me at the piano, but incorporates other instruments, elements, technology, dance and all this inspiration twirling around in my head these days.

Missy Washington, my designer, really outdid herself. All those hours of hunting down materials and brainstorming ideas really paid off. The costume she put together for me was really otherworldly, and yet I felt completely at ease, wearing it.

I can't wait to see the video from last night.

Most importantly, I felt and saw people connecting to the songs. Oh, I am so, so excited to share this album with them. I feel like I am sitting in this big room, with a huge pile of treasure all around me, and I am watching the clock because soon I'll be able to let everyone in and share.

🙂

photo taken by Missy Washington. Costume design: Missy Washington, makeup by Marian Filali.

Posted October 10, 2011 at 10:35 am

rain. music. hackers. memories.

My music host/provider, SoundCloud – got attacked by hackers, so the player is down. If you are reading this and you wish to stream music, please visit my MySpace.

This morning I woke up to the sound of the rain. It kept it up, and now it is raining hard, all other sounds muffled. I am having a quiet morning, but tonight I am going to perform again – it is a promotional sort of appearance.

There is so much to do before my London trip – yes, October 19th Missy and I are flying to London, where I will be opening for Morcheeba, and also doing another couple of special shows.

But this morning I am unable to do much – the rain is making me slow down and take stock.

I went back to an old, abandoned blog of mine – realizing I need to back it up, just in case it vanishes from virtual space. It is uncanny to read my entries of 4-5 years ago. So much of me is the same, really. And this is after working so hard to change and improve. But is it a bad thing? No, I would not say so. Although I may still have the same shortcomings, I have become stronger – and better, in some ways.

I sometimes think that people are made of various materials – some are wood, some are steel – some are copper or gold. Maybe that answers the question why some people go through a challenging experience and emerge broken, while others become stronger – or harder.

Harder is not always the best thing, either, though.

I am very fortunate, because although I am stronger now, I am actually less hard than I was when I was a teen.

I do believe that in order to be an artist of any kind, you have to stay vulnerable to the world. Because only when you are open, you can be a proper channel for magic to come through you. Being open leaves you vulnerable, however, and there is no way around that. When you become hard, your shell may protect you – but it also keeps a lot out. Such is the Law – to know great joy, you may also go through great suffering.

I performed Monday night- it was a release party for my EP. It was a poetic kind of experience – because you see, I performed with the same quartet (Sonus) I had used a few years ago, when I released my first ever project, Breakfast with Chopin. Except this time was very different. I have come such a long way since then.

My inner critic tells me I could have come further. Don't you just love it – that voice that belittles your accomplishments and says: 'well, yes, but…'

That voice can be a terrific motivator, however. It is important to remember, though, that it can also incapacitate you, depending on how sure of yourself you are. I am thankful that I have come to a place, emotionally, where even when I doubt myself, I forge ahead and be what may.

And the countdown to the release of the full record in the new year begins now.

Posted September 28, 2011 at 7:41 am

soundchecking for taping of SiriusXM radio performance from the other day – the piano had been signed by so many amazing artists – it was a bit intimidating!

Posted September 23, 2011 at 11:15 am

a bit of calm before the…

Today I am home, resting up, mostly. There is something going around: a sniffly kind of annoyance. I think my body is fighting it off, so I need to give it a fighting chance, especially considering that Sunday I fly to NYC at 6 AM – and the ride begins.

Sunday we rehearse with the string quintet.

Monday I get to sing three times – a special radio performance, a video-taped performance for Converse and topping it off, an Apple Store performance in the evening.

Tuesday, as far as I know, there are two performances – a taped radio one, and the show with string quintet at Dominion NY to kick off my EP release, and the iTunes Single of the Week.

And we also premiere the Dreamer music video! I am beyond excited and a bit nervous.

Fortunately, Wednesday is off… and I get to sleep in and actually enjoy NYC a bit. After I get back to Los Angeles, I re-group a little bit, and then October 3rd is my performance at Bardot in Hollywood – also with string section. I feel so spoiled – performing with strings is a whole other level of experience.

There are other things in the works right now, including Europe in late October, more performances and radio things.

But today, I get to just rest a bit and give myself a break. I also get to reflect a little on how fortunate I am, really, to be living my dream.

Yes, I have worked hard – and living is not unlike being a farmer: you sow the seeds, tend them – sometimes you despair, because they appear to die – only to find out later that against all odds, you have a rare fruit or bloom on your hands. But so much of the process is also instinct and good fortune. And another huge part of it is persistence – sometimes to the point of absurdity.

And sometimes you are simply surprised – like today I was watering the plants/flowers in the garden, and I saw that one of the two bushes of lavender I had given up for dead was actually green again and on its way to health and general well-being. While the other was a dry husk.

Who can tell why? Both of them certainly got the same blues and started dying off – they both got transplanted, so they would get more sun. Both received the same amount of attention – or non-attention. And yet, lo and behold, one of them managed to shake off oblivion, while the other gave up its ghost.

These days I often get people telling me things such as: 'Wow, you are really doing it". Or: 'Congratulations, you are making your dream come true. It happens so rarely'.

Is it true, then? Or do most people give up halfway through? I do know one thing: at some point, a few years ago, it was my sheer stubbornness that kept me going forward with music and art. I would have these long talks with my mom, who would attempt to dissuade me, in order to spare me more pain of rejection and certain doom. She meant well. Of course, I never listened. I am not good at following parental advice, in general.

I don't know whether I kept going because of sheer spirit of contrariness, or something else. Certainly it was the love of the music and my natural affinity for it. But sometimes I think that it really takes so much arrogance, as well, to believe that you can make a living out of making art. I mean, you have to presume that someone – or many – will love what you do, and not only love it, but want to give you money for it. Wow. Put that way, why would anyone want to become an artist? And am I, myself, really that arrogant?

Anyway, all I am trying to say, rather long-windedly here, is that today I am reflecting on how fortunate I have been. As a person who strives to move forward at all times, I often get into that state of: 'ok – got here, this is done. What next??' and don't really savor what is on my plate at the moment, because I am already looking to the next thing, and calculating the odds of surmounting the next obstacle.

Someone just told me the other day – a new friend, who knows a few people in the spotlight – 'Make sure you notice the moments now, because things will get so hectic and crazy, and moments will fly by. And it is really about the moments. Focus on the here and now and savor them, or they will be a blur in your memory just months from now'. I think she is right.

And so I am grateful for this blog, Missy's sketchbook, the iPhone that takes great pictures… so I can catch moments in my nets, like little shiny fish and revisit them later.

…I am thinking of the long drive with Missy to the Valley the other day, discussing the many uses of scarves and giggling.

I am thinking of going mountain biking the other day, blowing my tire almost right away, and being rescued, 15 seconds later, by a Russian biker, who was almost military in his precision, efficiency and possessed all necessary accessories. Two minutes later my tire was fixed and we continued on. What were the odds that a Russian mountain biker would show up seconds later to bail me out? Maybe he parachuted in. Indeed, his Russian was a bit too good for someone who has lived here since he was five. And he said his name was Vadim. Ha! Probably a code name, like 0-0-7.

And then there's the fig tree in the yard, that has been working hard this year, and every morning I go get fresh figs. But yesterday there was a squirrel having his breakfast in the tree. We had breakfast together. It was cozy.

As my release is coming to fruit, so are the tomatoes, and there are so many.

So right now, as I wrote even a few of these things down, I am sitting here and smiling, because gratitude is a bit like a warm bath. As we are entering the Autumn Equinox, I am saying thanks for harvesting what I planted in the recent year, and before, too. And also for lucky shiny bits of treasure I have randomly – or not so randomly – gathered into my nets throughout this journey.

I think if you can, do the same thing today for yourself. Find at least five things you are grateful for and write them down.

It is worth it.

Posted September 21, 2011 at 8:20 am

Austin redux

It was a whirlwind of a trip. We were only there for less than 48 hours. Missy, my art director, designer and 'everything' girl is starting to see how life of an artist on the road is pretty much defined by waking up at ungodly hours – such as, say, 430 AM to catch a flight at 630.

I am a morning person, so although I do sigh, I weather it a lot better than most would:) but Missy is not a morning person at all. Saturday morning had me filming her on my iPad, as she was struggling against the God of Slumber in her attempts to actually rise from the bed and become awake. It's a really cute video, but she is adamant no one will ever see it. I suggested it would make for great footage, especially with some suspenseful music thrown in for soundtrack. She was not too enthusiastic…

Anyway, I really liked what I saw of Austin. We did not get to see the bats, unfortunately, who apparently sleep under the bridge and swarm the skies around dusk. The closest to a bat we got was this plastic bat in our van:

As usual, Missy took a lot of great photos, and the issue of Chronicles will go up soon, although at this point we will probably combine it with my NYC trip/performances, which are next weekend.

I have to apologize for the delay in the publishing of Lollapalooza issue of Chronicles – but it has been such a hectic month and a half for all of us, with the shooting of the video, the upcoming release, performances and such, that we ended up running a bit behind on things.

It rained when we were there. Just a day before our arrival, my tour manager Abby warned us about the sweltering heat we were heading into… she even sent me a snapshot of weather on her iPhone, and it was all 96-98 degrees throughout the weekend.

Except when I arrived, an hour later it was sprinkling. After a refreshing rain, Austin was actually breezy and cool. Next day, I performed, and an hour later there was a thunderstorm. Bands were performing with umbrellas. But I don't think people minded so much, because this was the first rain after a months' long drought.

I singlehandedly took all the credit for the rain, of course. After all, it makes the flowers grow, does it not?:)

After running around in requisite golf carts, we were back at the airport, eating BBQ.

Another highlight of the festival: hearing Stevie Wonder's soundcheck. Alas, I did not get to see him do it, but hearing was amazing enough.

Did I ever tell you, by the way, that when I was 11, all I listened to, for weeks, was his 'Secret Life of Plants' record?

Here is the Team Flower Alchemist before I took the stage (Missy Washington, my art director, and moi):

Lindsey Green, who was the bass player, wore a perfect pair of Elton John sunglasses, and as you can see, we actually matched on-stage. I think I should take him on tour with me. But only if he wears those shades!

As I performed Saturday, people walking across the big, grassy field, kept trickling in, and when I lifted my head after a song, to look out, there were all these people gathered in front of the stage. It was a really special moment, because, really, it was the magic of music that brought them in. I felt like a real Siren, for a moment: making all those random sailors turn their ships (well, bring their folding chairs) towards my stage with the power of my song.