Posted April 7, 2012 at 7:13 am

11/11/11

So I have just been writing a looong entry, with photos and recaps of the past month, which has been quite something, and the coming month, and all that jazz.

But I got tired because I have been writing and recording non-stop for the last three days. So I gave up. The post will go up tomorrow.

Tonight is a full moon. And it's 11/11/11. What is your wish?

I wrote a song – just now. And methinks I am off to bed, because I am exhausted. Maybe I need to exhaust myself working, so I don't get anxious or grumpy. It is entirely possible.

The song just happened. I wrote it in 20 minutes. It felt like… breathing. And now I will sleep the sleep of the blessed workaholics of the world under a full moon. Goodnight.

Your Waltz

I have waited a long time

For someone like you

You are all that I asked for

But I never knew

That like so many gifts

You’re not quite what you seem

You’re a mystery’s child

You’re a beautiful dream

Do you know where you’ve come from

And where you are bound

Are you tired and thinking of settling down

Or like so many boys

It’s adventure you crave

An unbroken horizon

A road unpaved

There is something about you

That can’t be described

It’s as if all the colors

Are strangely alive

And the painter’s brush

Is a magical tool

But you cannot be captured

You’re nobody’s fool

Do you know where you’re going

I want to come too

I could be your companion

And I would be true

We could sing many songs

We would travel all night

We would sleep in the woods

And stars would be bright

When you get what you wish for

You don’t always know

If you’ll keep it forever

Or learn to let go

For the lesson is clear

But it hurts nonetheless

So you ask for forgiveness

And wish to confess

But the damage is done

And I hope for the best

When I kiss you goodnight

As I put you to rest

I have waited a long time

And I’ve been redeemed

By a mystery’s child

By a beautiful dream.

Waitingalonelonelyrainroadtravel-c2f707191b625b79d60e892f4b5d0fe2_h

Posted April 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

on the road again

I am incredibly tired, and yet buoyant.

Yes, buoyant – I love this word – it is one of my favorites in English – and I have been waiting to use it in the recent days, so here is my opportunity.

In case you are wondering: buoyancy is a good thing.

The video shoot went so well. We had such a difficult time making everything come together in a very short time – but come together it did. Last night, as we opened some champagne, the feeling was of that best (in my opinion) variety of satisfaction when, against all odds and through ups and downs, the pieces of the puzzle fit in a beautiful pattern and the final result is almost more than what you expected of the best possible outcome.

I learned that I can act – and now I actually want to take some acting lessons because I found myself enjoying it, quite unexpectedly. Who knew!

I have so much to look forward to – and for once – I am not afraid. I have no idea what the future will bring- but I have done so much already. I have given 2012 my full and undivided attention. The music is out there. The story of Beatrix will grow and spread far and wide. And a vital emotional piece of it – Meant – and the video, which we shot as part of the larger story – will be out there soon, as well.

Tomorrow we are flying to Seattle and driving to Vancouver to perform. I am opening for an amazing group – James – and it's a string of 10 dates this time, terminating in San Diego on April 19th.

Onwards. With or without a map.

But definitely with a compass:)

Posted March 11, 2012 at 11:41 am

Happy New Year.

This is for you.

to download (click arrow on the right):

What The World Needs Now by elizaveta

I love you.

Posted March 11, 2012 at 4:11 am

Maps

Do you ever wake up and for a moment feel disoriented? But not in a manner such as: where the hell am I? And who is this next to me? Although, perhaps, that applies, as well.

I mean, feeling like you don't know who you really are. Knowing who you have become, through circumstance or sheer power of will, but not who you really are.

The way I see it is we all have our internal maps of the "innerverse" we are born with, and when we start out on the journey, they are mostly blank. Sure, there is always that huge, great ocean. But we have to find out ourselves whether our world is round or flat and temporarily housed on a giant turtle. Its edges are not defined, and we do not always know where the continents are.

Some of us never leave, content to stay put on a square of land our parents made their own. Some are explorers, by chance, necessity or choice. We sail out past our self-imposed boundaries – and those set by the society or family we are born into – and discover new vistas. Sometimes we run aground for many years. Other times we return with a hoard of treasure.

As the years go by, the maps become more and more defined. We know the mountain ranges, the seas and the deserts. We learn the hows of our emotional weather and sometimes we are still utterly puzzled by it. The cities have names.

But there are mornings when you wake up and your map is missing, if just for a few moments. It is a scary, strange thing, because all of a sudden you do not know who you really are. Your reference points are not there. You are floating – or flailing – past the edges of the world you have painstakingly built, numbered and measured over time. Then minutes pass, and you are back. You stretch, wonder at yourself and get up to make the morning coffee. Reality as you know it rushes back in to soothe or irritate you – or both. After all, we revel in what is known, even if it is not quite what we dreamed of not so long ago.

I had a thought this morning: all true creativity happens when you are off the map, so to speak. Humans have, for aeons, sought to temporarily get there, via drugs, religious ecstasy, sex and adrenaline overdoses.

But no one can truly live off the map long term and stay sane. Or can they? Without it, one may well go crazy, become very depressed or fearful – or create a work of genius. Sometimes, it seems, all three go together.

Is that what also happens when you meditate? Do you get a bird's eye view of your world and soar past the boundaries of your internal story?

I tried to explain some of this to a friend. I said: 'Reality is what happens inside and outside you at the same time. And magic – the undefinable, "misty" stuff – is what you see out of the corner of your eye. The moment you stare at it directly, it is no longer there'.

Perhaps this is when you are getting a glimpse of what lies beyond your precious and oh-so-little-in-the-scale-of-things world you have been mapping out for so long you completely forgot where you really came from:

The stars and beyond?